Back to "Beyond the Corona Walls"[]
Review
Eugene Fitzherbert (over a title-card reading Disney's Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure): Previously, on Tangled...
(Over a series of scenes from Season One):
Rapunzel: Have you ever seen anything so beautiful? … We'll get out there soon. … I just wish my dad would let me get out and see the real world.
Cassandra: This is where they found the miracle flower that saved your mom.
Rapunzel (indicating the Black Rocks): What are they?
Cassandra: Don't know.
Rapunzel: They're unbreakable!
King Frederic: You touched a… mysterious rock that somehow caused your hair to return?
Eugene: We once tried to double-cross this guy called "The Baron"; he hasn't stopped hunting us since!
Lance: Of course it didn't help matters that Eugene stole his prized Stalyan.
Varian: Those black rocks are actually some kind of— of ancient darkness.
Rapunzel: These rocks hold some kind of secret, and somehow… I'm connected with it.
King Frederic: I can see now that they're pointing in a direction… pointing you in a direction.
Rapunzel: It's like the rocks want us to… follow them.
Scene 1. The Dark Kingdom.
[Caption]: 25 Years Ago
(In a chamber of the castle in the Dark Kingdom, King Edmund is pacing back and forth, addressing Quirin and Adira.)
King Edmund: I can't stand this anymore. This stone has destroyed too many lives! — It stops today! (He rushes toward the Moon Stone, brandishing a sword. He grunts as he strikes the cage containing the Moon Stone.) Uhhhnnnn! Aaannnnghhh! Ngh! (His sword shatters; he flings it away in disgust.) Ugh! (He tries to crush the cage with his hands.) Agh! (Quirin and Adira hasten up to restrain him. He continues to groan throughout Quirin's speech.)
Quirin (seizing King Edmund, pleadingly): Your Majesty, please! You're not thinking clearly. You know the stone cannot be destroyed!
(King Edmund throws him off angrily, and strains to reach inside the cage to grasp the Moon Stone. An explosion of light issues from it, flinging all three to the ground and causing part of the castle to crumble.)
Quirin (as he and Adira begin to stir): Uhhh… (They see the king lying prostrate on the floor.) Your Majesty! (They rush to aid him, and shove aside the fallen pieces of masonry. He coughs and stirs.)
King Edmund (shaking his head regretfully): Ah, I was a fool. It cannot be stopped. Our only hope is to keep its power from the world.
Adira: But, Your Majesty—
King Edmund: At any cost! You — must — leave — this castle. Keep any from finding it. Anyone who seeks out this opal — Must — Be — Stopped.
Scene 2. On the road from Corona.
[Caption]: Present Day
(A large wooden caravan is being pulled by Maximus and Fidella, as Cassandra holds the reins. A door opens on the side of the caravan, and Rapunzel jumps out, happily.)
Rapunzel (sung): I wanna break every rule and cross every line. (spoken) Woo-hoooo!
(sung) I wanna show all the stars how stars oughta shine.
I wanna do as I please, and knock the world to its knees,
And go wherever the breeze is blowin'.
Next stop, anywhere!
Got a whole lot of world to see.
Nothing's stoppin' me.
Next stop, anywhere!
'Cause there's so much waitin'!
I know it's waitin'!
I feel it waitin' out there
Everywhere.
Eugene (spoken): Ha, Blondie! Wait up! (panting) Uhnn! Huh! Whoah, man, do you have any idea how hard it is keepin' up with you out here?
Rapunzel: Come on, Eugene! It's my first trip outside of Corona; it's like a whole new chapter of our lives has just begun!
Eugene: Well, that's kind of what I was thinkin', too.
Rapunzel: I mean, aren't you excited to see where these rocks are taking us?
Eugene: Well, ah, let's see. Excited? To follow a bunch of creepy rocks (sticking his fingers on the sharp point of a Black Rock) — ah! — to who knows where? (Rapunzel sighs in amused protest.) Of course, I'm excited. I'm with you! What else could I be?
Eugene (sung): We're gonna toss out the maps and follow the sun. (As Rapunzel pulls him over the edge of a waterfall, he yells, "WhoooooooAAAAAAAHHHH!")
Rapunzel: We're gonna blaze our own path and go on the run.
Eugene: We're gonna get out and do what nobody's done.
Rapunzel: There's so much out there to do, we've barely begun.
Eugene: We're gonna take every dare…
Both: And feel the wind in our hair,
With no one tellin' us where we're goin'.
Next stop, anywhere!
If you're there, I'm gonna be where I wanna be.
Next stop, anywhere,
And the world is callin'!
It keeps on callin'!
Just think of all that we'll share
Everywhere.
Cassandra (spoken): Rapunzel! … Do me a favor, and try not to run off like that. Not that I don't think you can handle yourself, but I promised your dad I'd keep you safe, and I'd hate to lose you less than a week on the road.
Rapunzel: Has it been that long already?
Cassandra: You've got to exercise at least some caution out here. Trust me, Raps, the real world isn't all fun and games.
Hook Foot: Next stop – Vaaaaaardaros!
Lance Strongbow: City of fun and games! Ha ha ha!
Cassandra: I am so glad we decided to bring those two along.
Eugene: Aaaaaah, come on, Cass! Vardaros is an amazing city; you're gonna have fun … which I'm guessing is a new thing for you.
Rapunzel: Come on, Pascal! It's our first big city outside of Corona. You heard 'em, Cass: this – is gonna be fun!
Cassandra (sung, as she runs through a herd of galloping horses, and Owl swoops down, hooting): Next stop, anywhere!
Got a feeling things'll be happ'nin' suddenly.
Rapunzel: Next stop, anywhere!
Gonna chase my destiny, find the best in me!
Eugene: Next stop, anywhere!
'Cause it's time we went to be where we're meant to be.
All: Next stop, anywhere!
Cassandra: And the world is waitin'…
Eugene: I feel it waitin'…
Rapunzel: It's all just waitin' out there…
All: Everywhere!
Everywhere!
Everywhere!
Rapunzel: Vardaros, here we come!
Cassandra: Not that you shouldn't trust the endorsement of three lifetime criminals, Raps – but maybe you should trust me, too. I just wanna make sure that we're not losing sight of what we're doing out here.
Rapunzel: I know. Believe me, Cass, I want answers more than anyone. I feel like whatever's waiting for us at the end of this road is only part of why we're out here.
(As the caravan lumbers forward, Adira is seen to be watching from a cliff, unbeknownst to them.)
Scene 3. Inside the caravan.
Eugene (opening a box containing a diamond ring): All right, boys, we're gonna try this proposal thing one more time, and where better than Vardaros — one of the most beautiful cities in the world?! It's perfect!
Lance (cheerfully): Didn't she say "No" the first time you proposed? (Eugene's face falls; he looks at Lance in pained disbelief.) I-I-I'm just sayin', you probably thought that would be perfect, too.
Eugene (now obviously irritated, clapping the box to): Thank you — Lance.
Hook Foot (satirically): It makes perfect sense to me: the princess is out in the free world for the first time in her life — I'm sure she's just itchin' to settle down with you.
(Eugene glares at both of them, distinctly displeased. There is a rumble and a jerk.)
Cassandra (from outside): We're here.
Lance (flinging open the door, and rushing out with Hook Foot, past Rapunzel, who is just about to enter): Woo-hoo! Guess I'm gonna find a picnic spot!
Hook Foot (his voice receding as he races Lance): No way! You got to choose last time, and there were ants all over the place…
Eugene (from within, trying to work up resolution): Come on, Fitzherbert! Forget Hook Foot. Forget Lance! (Rapunzel pauses at the door; Eugene addresses himself in the mirror.) This is Rapunzel we're talking about; of course she wants to get married — and, besides, I'm not asking her to settle down and throw her life away, I'm just asking her to (realizing, deflated) settle down— Oh, okay, (irritated, trying to pump himself back up) enough already, you just have to ask her flat out. (kneeling, as Rapunzel, outside the door, presses her ear against it) "Rapunzel, will you m—"
(The door creaks and flies open, as Rapunzel falls inside with a startled cry.)
Rapunzel: Aaa!
(Rapunzel half-rises; both look at each other blankly. Rapunzel notices the open box with the ring in Eugene's hand — he quickly claps it to behind him and grins guiltily.)
[Commercial break.]
Scene 4. Outside the caravan.
(Cassandra is stroking Fidella's nose; Fidella grunts and nickers. A low sound comes from behind.)
A Low Voice: Mrrrhhhh.
(Fidella and Cassandra start, and Fidella grunts nervously. As Cassandra heads toward the rear of the caravan, low grunts continue; Fidella looks around, nickering anxiously. A low growling and rattling come from a small door on the back of the caravan, and Cassandra draws her sword with a soft metallic shirr. With the point, she pushes the door open.)
Scene 5. Inside the caravan.
Rapunzel (rising): Eugene… did you just ask me to marry you?
Eugene: Wha-hat?! Ha-ha. No. That's… craz— no, I jus— I dropped something, and — and I got it, that, that something that I dropped, that I knelt down, and I picked it up, which would explain why I was on one knee… I could see how you would, uhhhh— (clearing his throat) hh-mmmm,you know…
Rapunzel: I thought I heard you say, "Marry me…"
Eugene: Ohhhhhh, I see, now there's the confusion, because I didn't say, "Marry me," I said … "Laramie" … b— I was talking about my old dog Laramie…
Rapunzel: You were talking about your old dog Laramie… to yourself?
Eugene (rapidly): Yup, good ol' scruffy, totally real, and totally not made-up Laramie.
(A hideous squalling squeal is heard from outside.)
The Squalling Squeal: YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Scene 6. Outside the caravan.
(Hook Foot, Lance, Rapunzel with her frying pan, and Eugene rush to the side of the caravan, assuming offensive postures.)
Rapunzel: C-Cass, Cass — are you okay? We heard a scream.
Cassandra (disgustedly): That wasn't me. (She turns, and reveals that she is holding, at arm's length, Shorty.)
Shorty (now revealed to have been both the Low Voice and the Squalling Squeal, as the others wince and plug their ears): YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Uhn.
(Cassandra lets him drop with a dull thud.)
Rapunzel: Shorty?
Eugene: Howdju get here?
Shorty (in his usual dazed and vacant manner, while dusting off the seat of his tunic): How indeed? The circumstances which led to my unexpected departure from Corona make for a long yet fascinating tale…
Cassandra: Bottom-line us, Beardy.
Shorty: I fell asleep in a food trunk.
Lance: Huh?! No, no, no, no, no! (rushing to the food locker) The food! He ate all the food! The bread! The cheese! Those little cocktail weenies 'n' the peppercorn jelly! Gone! All gone! Why? WHY?! You're a monster. (He sobs squeakily, running into Eugene's next speech.) Ee-heem-hmmm-heemmm…
Eugene (irritated): Well. I guess someone should head into town and pick up more supplies. Anyone up for a walk?
Rapunzel: Ummm … I'll go, if that's… okay.
Eugene: Sure! I mean, if you want to go… for a walk; you don't… need to feel pressured.
Rapunzel: No, no! I — I'll — I won't…
Eugene: But just to be clear, I didn't officially ask you to go… for a walk!
Rapunzel: Ohhhhkayyyy, but the question was still out there — doesn't that count?
Eugene: Depends. Are you officially asking me to come?
(All this maundering is beginning to tell visibly on the nerves of the others.)
Rapunzel: Would that change your answer?
Cassandra (sighing softly): Hhnn…
Eugene: I don't know — would it change yours?
Rapunzel: Aaaa question's a question…
Cassandra (sighing heavily): Huhnnn…
Rapunzel: …the answer should be the same either way…
Eugene: Yeah, now I'm confused, Rapunzel; do you want to go for a walk or not?
Rapunzel: … Do you wanna go for a walk?
Cassandra: UUUGGGGGHHHHHHH! GUYS, I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE — ENOUGH! No-one's going for a walk! Let's just take the caravan into town — together.
Scene 7. On the caravan, moving into Vardaros. The crew exits the caravan and explores the city.
Cassandra: Here we are.
Lance: [excited] Varderos! Here...we...[loses excitement and gasps seeing the ruined city] Oh...uh....ew.
Cassandra: WOW! Guys! You were right! This is great! What do you want to do first? Get matching face tattoos? Or....see if we can get a deal on a rusty hatchet? [excited gasp] OH! I KNOW! Let's see who can catch the plague first!
Eugene: I don't understand....what happened?!
Rapunzel: Come on, guys! Maybe it's not exactly how you remembered it, but that doesn't mean it's not a fun loving city! Hello there, we're new in town My name's R--
Vex: Get lost.
Cassandra: Maybe You should hold off on the introductions. Something tells me if word got out that actual royalty were in town, we could be in trouble.
Eugene: You know, I hate saying this, but she's right. Let's keep a lower profile, Princess. We'll go get the supplies, you guys take the caravan back up to the camp. The last thing you need is for someone to recognize you.
Cutter: I recognize that guy. Spread the word. Flynn Rider's in town.
Citizen: Flynn Rider's in town.
Citizen 2: Flynn Rider,
Citizen 3: Flynn Rider's in town.
Citizen 4: Flynn Rider.
Citizen 5: It's Flynn Rider,
Baron: Flynn Rider? Here In Vardaros?
Weasel: Yes, Baron. And he’s with his friends from Corona. Let me dispose of him. Please!
Baron: No. That’s not how this ends. Bring me the man who stole my precious Stalyan. I want to settle things with Rider. Properly.
Scene 8: Outside the Caravan
Cassandra: He asked you to marry him again, huh? [scoffs] Come on! I know you guys well enough by now.
Rapunzel: I-I guess he maybe asked me.
Cassandra: Well...what did you maybe say?
Rapunzel: I didn’t say anything. And...I’m not sure why.
Adira: Oh, I can tell you why. You have bigger things lying ahead of you. Greetings.
Scene 9: Streets of Vardaros
Hookfoot: I told you she was gonna say no. She wasn’t ready!
Eugene: For the last time, she didn’t say no, Hookfoot. She didn’t say anything! ....Which...in a way...is...kind of worse than saying no, so I’d appreciate it if you’d just change the subject.
Hookfoot: You got it, Pal. I’m not gonna say another word.
Eugene: Thank you!
Hookfoot: Hey, here‘s a fun fact! Rapunzel‘s agreed to marry as many times as many times as she’s agreed to marry you! And i didn’t even have to ask—
Lance: Now that‘s enough, Hookfoot! Eugene’s in pain. It’s not his fault he couldn’t see that asking a girl who is free for the first time in her life to clip her wings and get hitched would be a horrible idea. But! Eugene is still our friend! And we should stick by him, no matter how oblivious or—
Hookfoot: Desperate!
Lance: Yeah.
Shorty: Downright pathetic he comes across.
Lance: Isn’t that right, buddy?
Eugene: You are all just awful, awful people.
Vex: Hey! You! You guys are friends with that annoying girl with the long hair, right?
Eugene: Hey, hey, easy! That happens to be the woman I love.
Lance: And she’s not annoying! We like to use the term "irrepressible."
Vex: No! She’s in trouble. You better come with me.
Eugene: Where is she?
Vex: How should I know? Some guy just gave me a sliver of gold to get you to come down here.
Weasel: Hello, Rider.
Eugene: Hoo! Anthony the Weasel. See, I knew it was you before I even turned around! Must be standing downwind.
Hookfoot: Oof! And I thought I was a big ugly goon!
Weasel: An old friend would like to do some catching up with you.
Scene 10: Outside the caravan
Rapunzel: I’m sorry, who are you exactly?
Adira: Oh, right, sorry. Princess Rapunzel, my name is Adira.
Cassandra: And what do you want, Adira?
Adira: A word with Rapunzel is all...alone, if you don’t mind.
Cassandra: [scoffs] Not gonna happen.
Rapunzel: Just a second, Cass. Let’s...hear her out.
Adira: Okay. I gotta be honest. I know we just met, but uh, I’m not a big fan of people touching me.
Cassandra: And I’m not a fan of people who lurk in the shadows.
Adira: Okay, last chance to do this the nice way.
Cassandra: And where‘s the fun in that?
Rapunzel: Cass, no! Wait.
[Adira And Cass fight]
Cassandra: [grunts]
Rapunzel: Hey! I don’t know who you are, but you do NOT get to do that to my best friend!
Adira: Ugh...Alright, then.
Rapunzel: Whoa!
Cassandra: Let‘s try that again, weirdo.
Adira: I’m not a weirdo! Am I? Eccentric, maybe. Unconventional, sure, but...weirdo? Oh, come on, guys. This is ridiculous. I don’t wanna fight you.
Cassandra: You could’ve fooled me. [war cry]
Adira: You guys aren’t even trying. Oh wait. They are trying.
Cassandra: That’s it! [war cry] Huh? Huh?
Rapunzel: ENOUGH.
Adira: Yeah...see, I thought we covered this. I don’t like being touched! [gasps when sword doesn’t cut]
Rapunzel: [gasps] huh?
Adira: It didn’t cut.
Rapunzel: It didn’t break. It must be made of...
Hookfoot: Princess! Cass! [out of breath]
Rapunzel: Hookfoot! Are you okay?
Adira: I can see you have your hands full. I’ll seek you out later.
Hookfoot: I fought as hard as I could, and barely got away alive!
Rapunzel: Wait, wait? Fought? Fought who? Where‘s Eugene?
Hookfoot: [sighs] I’m so sorry. Eugene...they took him.
Scene 11: Baron’s Mansion
Eugene: [groans]
Lance: [groans]
Shorty: [groans then snores]
Lance: It’s the- Oh, it‘s-it’s the—
Eugene: Baron! Ha ha! Long time, no see. I’m glad to see you’ve set up shop here in Vardaros now, It fact, we were just admiring what you‘ve done with the place.
Weasel: If you’d like to keep your tongue, I suggest you stop moving it now.
Baron: Anthony, enough. Quit playing games, Rider. I’ve been waiting for this moment. It’s time to make amends for what you did to my Stalyan.
Eugene: Oh, right! The Stalyan Incident. You really should let this whole Stalyan thing go. Come on! I mean, it‘s ancient history! Let’s all just move on.
Stalyan: Let’s not.
Eugene: [very nervous] Hello, Stalyan.
Stalyan: Hello, Rider.
Shorty: I’m so confused.
Lance: Stalyan is the Baron’s daughter. [clears throat] And Eugene’s Ex.
Shorty: I see! And who’s this Eugene guy?
Eugene: Hey! Stalyan! How are ya? Uh, look, before you get too upset, I can explain.
Stalyan: Oh, I’m not upset, Rider. Besides, what’s to explain? You left me at the altar.
Eugene: Did I? Did I...do that? Is that how it went down? Because that’s not how I remember it! But hey, you know, it was—- [nervous laugh] quite a long time ago. Who’s to say who did what that day? I mean—
Stalyan: Stop talking. After what you did, I swore that if I ever saw you again, I would break a lot of bones.
Eugene: Fair, fair. We’re talking about my bones, is that correct?
Stalyan: But, with time comes perspective. I realized that we were meant for each other, Flynn Rider. Partners in crime. Partners in life. We can’t change what we are.
Eugene: Wait, w-what? W-what are you talking about?
Baron: I’m making you a proposition, Rider. Keep good on the promise you made to my daughter, and marry her.
Eugene: Waiting for the "Or"..
Baron: Or, you, Strongbow and your pet troll will perish.
Weasel: Painfully.
Eugene: [scoffs] You can’t make me marry her, Baron!
Baron: Oh, I’d like to give it a try.
Lance: [scared gasp] It’s a spider. Eugene! Eugene. It’s a spider. You know I hate s-s-spiders. [heavy breathing]
Baron: Not just any spider. It’s a venomous Kai spider. Its bite causes fever and delirium. Only when there’s swelling of the tongue and throat, do you know the end is near.
Lance: I-I-I uh- [nervous breathing] Spiders bite. He’s on me. He’s on me! He’s walking. HE’S WALKING! HE’S ON MY HAND, HE’S—OW!
Eugene: NO! Is he dead?
Baron: No, the half-wit passed out from fear.
Lance: He’s right, that’s exactly what happened.
Baron: But he will be dead by nightfall. Unless of course, you have this. The anti-venom. Marry Stalyan, and this will be your wedding present from me.
Stalyan: Trust me, Rider. It’s meant to be.
Shorty: Congratulations, Mr. Groom.
Scene 12: Streets of Vardaros
Rapunzel: Somebody somewhere has to know who took Eugene. We’ll cover more ground if we split up.
[they ask around town; instrumental montage]
Hookfoot: No one wants to talk!
Rapunzel: ugh...
Cassandra: Look, Raps, we’ve been at this for hours. Maybe we should go back to Corona and send for the cavalry. If we leave now, we can be back in two wee—OHH! You‘re right! I’m so sorry! Please stop looking at me like that.
Vex: What’s the matter, Princess? Looking for your boyfriend? [snickers]
Rapunzel: You! YOU KNOW SOMETHING! WHAT DO YOU KNOW?! TELL ME NOW, OR SO HELP ME!
Vex: I don’t need to tell you nothing!
[fanfare plays, Rapunzel follows the source to the town square]
Weasel: Alright! Shut your faces and listen up, you scum.
Hookfoot: Hey! That’s the guy that attacked us!
Weasel: The Baron has something he’s like to say.
Rapunzel: The "Baron" Baron?
Baron: People of Vardaros, I bring you cause for celebration. A glint of joy into your otherwise meaningless and pitiful lives. My people will be collecting gifts for the occasion, from each of you.
Eugene: [to Lance] Hang In there, Buddy. I’m gonna get you out of this.
Stalyan: Wow! You should see all the people out there.
Eugene: Stalyan, come on. This is stupid.
Stalyan: I know it is. I told my dad the spider wasn’t necessary, but you know bad guys. They have such a flair for drama.
Eugene: That’s not what I meant.
Stalyan: I know what you meant.
Eugene: Stalyan, I can‘t do this. I’m in love with someone else.
Stalyan: Yeah, I know. We’ve all heard the story by now. How the daring, ne’er do well thief rescued the lost princess from her tower. Let me ask you, do you really think it’s fair to ask a girl who spent the first 18 years of her life in prison to give up her freedom for a lifelong relationship with....someone like you?
Baron: I am pleased to announce the re-engagement of my daughter, Stalyan.
[applause]
Rapunzel: Wait...the Baron‘s daughter?
Hookfoot: Ohhhh...what a daughter. [simping]
Baron: And her fiancé, Flynn Rider,
Rapunzel: Huh? Eugene!
Eugene: Rapunzel.
Rapunzel: Eugene, I don’t understand. What’s going on?
Eugene: Rapunzel, I—
Stalyan: He’s with us now.
Rapunzel: This is some kind of joke, right?
Eugene: I, uh...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Rapunzel, but I’ve made my choice.
Rapunzel: Eugene? Eugene! [crying] Eugene. [more crying]
Scene 13: Baron‘s Prison
Lance [lisping]: Your nose. It looks like a strawberry. You know, speaking of strawberry, I get the berry part. That part makes perfect sense, but what? Where does the "straw" come in? They should call it nose berry. Cause it looks like your nose. I’m gonna eat your nose.
Eugene: How‘s he doing, Shorty?
Shorty: He‘s doing great!
Eugene: Lance, buddy, just...hang on, alright? I’m gonna get you that antidote, I promise I’ll do whatever it takes.
Stalyan: It’s the right thing, you know. Getting hitched.
Eugene: Stalyan, you need to call this off, and get me that antidote right now.
Stalyan: You know what I was thinking about earlier? Our trip to Pincosta. Remember you said stealing the Sultan‘s jewels was one of the worst ideas I’ve ever had, but then, I made you go through with it, and well, we made a fortune that day. My point is, I know what’s best for you, Rider. I always have. I know in my heart that this is where you belong, Flynn. And deep down, you know it too. Well... it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding, and the last thing any of us needs is...bad luck. Right, Flynn?
Eugene: It‘s Eugene now.
Stalyan: No it’s not! See you out there.
Scene 14: Inside the caravan
Rapunzel: I don't understand. Pascal, how can Eugene be getting married? What if that's the last time we ever talked? Why didn't I say, "Yes"?
(sung) When I let him walk away,
What if I had spoke instead?
Why did I go on concealing
The confusion I was feeling?
Now I'll never get to say
All the things I should have said.
Now there's no more love, just echoes of
The life we should have led.
If I could take that moment back!
If he were here beside me still,
I'd let him see inside my heart.
Now he never will.
Eugene: Maybe if I gave her time…
Maybe if I didn't go,
Maybe things somehow would change, but now
I guess we'll never know.
Rapunzel: If I could take that moment back!
Eugene: If I could turn back time, I would!
Both: If we could make a brand new start…
How I wish we could!
Rapunzel: Wish I could take it back,
But now it's gone for good.
Eugene: Wish I had that moment back.
Cass: Um, Rapunzel? We all know that Eugene and I don't always agree on everything. But over the last year or so, I've noticed something that makes him... less detestable. He loves you, Rapunzel. More than anyone has ever loved anybody.
Rapunzel: And I feel the same way about him. I'm just sorry it took all of this to truly realize that.
Cass: Look, I know what we both saw down there. But you and I both know this isn't something Eugene would ever do.
Rapunzel: I know.
Cass: And you wanna hear something I know Rapunzel would never do? Rapunzel would never give up. She'd pick herself up, stop feeling sorry for herself, and she'd fight back with everything she had. So what do you say we get out there-
Rapunzel: And get Eugene back!
-Spying-
Cass: Careful, Raps. Remember what happens when you touch one of those.
Rapunzel: Right. That would be bad.
Cass: (Sighs) I was hoping there would be more people here to make it easier to slip by.
Rapunzel: Hmph. I guess Stalyan doesn't have that many friends. What kind of name is "Stalyan" anyway? Who names their kid that? What's her sisters name, Bronco?
Cass: Rapunzel, focus. We don't have time for jealousy.
Rapunzel: Jealous? No. I am not jealous. You're jealous.
Cass: Now, the benefit to only having a few guests is that we might have a chance fighting our way in. A slim chance, but a chance.
Rapunzel: We may not have to fight. I think I have an idea.
Hookfoot: Does this idea require the use of any hooks?
Rapunzel: No, but we will need the help of Vardaros' little sweetheart.
Cass: Then what's the plan?
Rapunzel: We are gonna crash a wedding. -Pause as they start sneaking in- Remember what we talked about. Act normal and you'll get the other half when we're done.
Vex: I'm good for being stuck at a wedding.
Rapunzel: Yeah. Come to think of it, I've never actually been to a wedding before. Hmm. If we didn't have to be in disguise, and it wasn't so dangerous, and my boyfriend wasn't marrying another woman, this might've been fun.
Thug: Woah, woah, woah. Hold up fellas. What's this?
Vex: (Scoffs) The Baron wanted wedding flowers.
Thug: A battle bouquet. (Chuckles) Brilliant.
Hookfoot: (Groans)
Thug: What was that?
Rapunzel: (Coughs)
Thug: What about you? Who are you?
Rapunzel: (Deep voice) I'm Cobra! Cobra Mc, uh... Mc, uc, McBloodpuncher!
Thug: You're not on the list.
Rapunzel: Cobra McBloodpuncher doesn't do lists!
Thug: Then what do you do? Eh?
Rapunzel: You should see what I do to people.
Thug: (Laughs) You're alright, McBloodpuncher! Why don't you go on in there, eh? Have yourself a good time. Get some cake.
Rapunzel: Phew. -Inside- Thank you, Vex. That was really- oh.
Vex: Thanks.
Cass: (Coughs) Why was I the one to get stuck in a box with Captain Foot Odor? You've got enough stink for two feet!
Hookfoot: How dare you, Miss Viking Breath! What? Do you brush your teeth with onions?
Cass: (Growls)
Rapunzel: Okay, guys! Guys! Stick to the plan! You two grab our friends, while I cause a distraction.
-In the cell-
Shorty: (Snores)
Eugene: Look, Lance, I'm sorry I got you into this. No matter what, I just want you to know, I love you.
Lance: (Breathing heavily) I...I've always wanted a cat named Clovis.
Eugene: C-Clovis? (Chuckles) It does have a fun ring to it. I'm glad we could- Glad we could share this moment. Wait here, guys. I've got to do this one thing.
Shorty: He's doing great!
-Outside-
Rapunzel: Oh, come on! Really? Ugh! I don't usually make fun of other people's tastes, but that's just tacky! I bet Stalyan picked it out.
Cass: Rapunzel!
Rapunzel: (Gasps) Oh, look! There he is.
Baron: Let's get on with it, shall we?
Rapunzel: Funny! I was just thinking the same thing!
Eugene: Blondie!
Rapunzel: Eugene!
Eugene: Blondie, you shouldn't be here.
Stalyan: Yeah, move along, Blondie.
Rapunzel: Hey, Eugene, just listen, please. I may not know what my future holds, but I do know that you are meant to be in it. I love you.
Eugene: (Sighs happily)
Rapunzel: And now that I've spilled my heart out to a room full of hostile strangers, feeling a little self-conscious.
Stalyan: Well, that was lovely. Are we done here?
Rapunzel: Not even close. I'm just warming up. Cass! Hookfoot! Brace yourself! It's about to get rough in here! Uh, uh, rough in here!
Stalyan: Impressive.
Rapunzel: Uh, come on. Come on, come on, come on. Okay, yeah! That played out differently in my head.
Baron: Get them outta here.
Eugene: Hey! Leave them alone!
Baron: Tick-tick, Rider.
Eugene: Guys! They poisoned Lance!
Lance: (Laughs) Hi.
Cass: Okay, Raps. If you have a plan b, now would be a great time to pitch it.
Eugene: We need that antidote!
Baron: Never, Rider.
Rapunzel: Time for a new plan. (Whistles) (Grunts)
Hookfoot: Max! That one was mine!
Rapunzel: Max! Sorry, Cass. You were so right about being on the road. It is not all fun and games!
Cass: Are you kidding?! This is fun! (Grunts)
Weasel: You might wanna give up now.
Cass: You're not getting off the hook that easy.
Hookfoot: I thought I said no hooks!
Rapunzel: Now get out of my way.
Weasel: Oh, I'm not going anywhere.
Lance: (Groans)
Eugene: Oh, Lance! Lance, wake up buddy! Lance! Say something! Please!
Lance: Clovith. You grew a goatee. (Laughs)
Eugene: No, no, no, no. Swollen tongue. We're running out of time!
Stalyan: Well, this party stinks. Alright, Rider, let's get outta here.
Rapunzel: His name is Eugene!
Stalyan: His name is Rider, and he belongs with me!
Rapunzel: How would you know? You had to poison his best friend to get him to marry you!
Eugene: That is a good point, Rapunzel.
Stalyan: In fairness, that was my dad's idea!
Eugene: Ladies! There's probably a better way to work this out!
Rapunzel: We'll work this out as soon as we get back to the caravan!
Stalyan: And just what are you gonna do, frog? Ah!
Eugene: I love you!
Rapunzel: We need that antidote, Pascal.
Shorty: Hurray! Sky chicken!
Cass: Raps! Time to roll out that plan c.
Rapunzel: I don't have a plan c. I thought these rocks would react like they did back in Corona!
Adira: They're not reacting because they've found the sundrop. That would be you.
Cass: Great. Weird shadow lady.
Adira: I'm not that weird! Hee-yah!
Eugene: Wait, wait, wait, wait! I'm with the good guys! Wow! Thank you, tall person. Yes! Yes! You got something I want, Baron.
Baron: Come and get it, Rider. I should've done this from the beginning.
Shorty: Alright! Floor chicken!
Baron: Oh! Ah! No! No! No! (Groans) No! The anti-venom. Where is the anti-venom?
Lance: Clovis. You shaved your goatee.
Baron: If I'm going down, then I'm taking you with me!
Rapunzel: Hey, Baron!
Eugene: Blondie!
Rapunzel: Eugene! Oh!
Baron: (Groans)
Stalyan: We'll find the anti-venom, and then I will settle this, Rider.
Eugene: The name's Eugene.
(pause)
Rapunzel: I wanted to talk about when you asked to marry me. I didn't quite know what to say. But I do now. Eugene, will you-
Eugene: No, that's not necessary.
Rapunzel: What?
Eugene: You're finally free and out in the real world. I understand now that making a lifetime commitment is probably the furthest thing from your mind. In other words, now's just not the time.
Rapunzel: Oh. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. Now is not the time. That is totally what I was about to say. I'm really glad you feel the same.
Eugene: But if the time does come, we need to have a serious talk about the ceremony decorations beforehand. I mean, did you see that swan?
Rapunzel: I know, right?! So tacky!
Eugene: Tack...? No, that swan is aw- Awesomely tacky. I mean, what?! Outrageous.
Lance: This may be the fever talking but was there a tall, angelic enchantress with a sword here a second ago?
Cass: Yeah. Where did Weirdo go?
-Later-
Rapunzel: Where is it taking us, Pascal?
Adira: To fulfill your destiny.
Rapunzel: Adira. (Chuckles) Who are you?
~Music~
Adira: Look, I am a friend, and I am here to make sure you get to the end of this journey you're embarking on. Listen, I don't have all the answers, but now that I've seen all that I have, I have no doubt, these rocks were looking for you, and you must follow them … to the Dark Kingdom.
Eugene (sung): We're gonna walk down that path and over the rise.
Rapunzel: Guess we'll discover just where our destiny lies.
Eugene: Who cares how dark it'll be? 'Cause I've got you…
Rapunzel: You've got me…
Both: So let's go see where this whole thing's goin'!
Next stop, anywhere!
Rapunzel: And where I'm supposed to be, with you close to me.
Both: Next stop, anywhere!
Eugene: Facin' every jeopardy, linked insep'rably.
Both: Next stop, anywhere!
Rapunzel: Though it may get rough for us…
Eugene: We're enough for us.
Both: Next stop, anywhere!
Rapunzel: And the world is waitin'…
Eugene: I feel it waitin'…
Rapunzel: With new adventures to share,
Everywhere!
Eugene: Everywhere!
Both: Everywhere!